Time To Nut Up Or Shut Up

i cybered on omegle today

  • You: hi
  • Stranger: hey
  • You: wanna cyber
  • Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
  • You: ya
  • Stranger: And okay then, you start?
  • You: i come into ur bedroom
  • You: and ur sleeping
  • You: and i crawl under your blanket
  • Stranger: I'm still asleep
  • You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
  • You: and u wake up and smile
  • Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
  • You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
  • You: cutting off your penis
  • Stranger: wait
  • You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
  • Stranger: Then what...?
  • You: I HATE YOU
  • Stranger: I didn't cheat
  • You: you bleed to death in your bed
  • Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
  • You: nobody ever knows what happened
  • You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
  • You: the end
  • Stranger: I have a mercedes?
  • You: not anymore faggot
  • Your conversation partner has disconnected.
Via Welcome to Ponyville, Faggot.

A 90 years old man holds hands with his 40+ boyfriend. People call him a pervert, no one knows he’s been hibernated for 70 years. People call another guy short. No one knows he has a serious genetic mutation that causes him to turn into a green raging monster. People call a man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting with his assassin of a wife who didn’t like the nest he had built them. People call a man stupid but they don’t know he is the norse god of thunder. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won’t do it, because you do what you want.

(Source: stravaganza)

Via The Only Hope For Me Is You...

Best. Scene. In. The. Movie.


Via Hey Beavis, Uh-hu-uh-hu.

vis-ion:

Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Ha
Me: Hahahaha
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: HAHA THAT’S A GOOD ONE.
Me: OH MY GOD WHAT IS AIR
Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL OH MY GOD 
Me: Hahaha
Me: Haaa….
Me: Whooooooo, that was a good one.
Me: No, no I am not.

Via Relentless Curiosity



disturbed-dreamer:

aw. i wish my parents were like lilly and marshall 

(Source: phoenixandlittlegrey)


Via Welcome to Ponyville, Faggot.


socialistictendencies:

tumblr in one picture

(Source: pandorasfall)



oprahsvajayjayispainin:

d1m3:

preciselymorgan:

omggg whoaa

Forever Reblog best picture on all of Tumblr

maybe this is just me being a psycho freak but thinking about how one of those little lights is austins makes me want to vomit everywhere

Who the fuck is out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?

(Source: skate-high)



(Source: lyingnolongerworks)


  • me at night: i don't want to sleep that's for the weak
  • me in the morning: oh bed i never want to leave you
Via I'm All Fired Up !



awkwardavalon:

SOOO MANY PEOPLE LEFT THE THEATER omfg lololol.

(Source: callmekelso)


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